Sometimes I think in English so that I can have a perspective on what's going on in or around me.
I am not too good to be "able to" be trapped in the language or not too bad to express myself in it.
Especially when I get too close to whatever things I'd think I manage to do but possibly couldn’t, thinking in English would just give me the perfect room I'd need to keep from those things.
Of course it also helps me collect thoughts that would otherwise scatter around...
The other day, I was thinking about the idea of trust and betrayal, supposedly opposed to each other.
The two emotional elements, which, by the way, have never been bound together in my mind or experiences and the idea of which has bugged me because of that, finally came off completely when I found a better word, "expectation" to complement the latter.
As I wrote in this blog somewhere, trust has the shape of a sphere that does not have "the other side" of it by its nature.
It's just so round you don’t know which is up or down, where it begins and ends, and if it ever has the front and back.
It's not even connected to anything in any way: at least that's how I feel.
On the contrary, "expectation" has a shape of a thin paper which has two sides just like betrayal does: in fact, they are each other's "the other side."
As much as trust is a sphere, I feel any idea or concept has its own unique if abstract shape: what we only can do with it is to find and appreciate as is.
I am not saying that we should always compare ideas to shapes but to try to understand what they really are to us.
If I can go on like this, I should inevitably discuss words as a vehicle though...but not in detail here today...
Anyway, I will stop here by saying seeing what you see matters more than you wouldn't believe.
(to be continued)
